Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
