This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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