The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
