I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
