I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Also, beer. Big fan.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
