Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
