So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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