clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
