those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
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Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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