and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
