dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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