After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
