the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
