I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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