Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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