i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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