it's too hot outside to masturbate.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize