i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
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