Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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