Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
