Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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