She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
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Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
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So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
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