i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
