I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
