She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
