i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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