Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
