So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
