the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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