so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
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