I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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