i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
