Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
