dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
