just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
