i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
