It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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