So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
