They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
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his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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