And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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