I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
