i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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