READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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