I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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