im drinking this country out of the recession.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
