the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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