This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
