he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize