so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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