What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
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