I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
