Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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