that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
