you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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