Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I need moral support for this bender
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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