On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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