Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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