I need help removing her.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
