dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
