just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You know, be my cock's hype man.
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I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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