Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
