Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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