But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party