My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.