I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.