I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
