dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize