Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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