i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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